November 17, 2025 12.52PM

I’m in a hostel in Atyrau, Kazakhstan, feeling ever so slightly at a loose end having decided to end this years walking season here. The bunk bed here creeks like I’m in a low budget horror film, and I share the room with a strange collection of men, one of whom just spent the last fifteen minutes deciding whether to wear his socks over or under his winter leggings. He rolled the leggings down over his sock, spent a good minute smoothing out every crease, and then reverted, rollong the sock up over the legging and beginning the smoothing all over again. I was transfixed as this went on, one leg, then the other, and back again. But alas, watching him has given me no clues as to what I ought to do with the winter (except perhaps that I’d rather not spend it in this hostel).

The plan had been to return to Georgia (Kazakstan has a relatively short visa) and while away the winter months with Helen and Irfaan, but they’ve decided Georgia might be a little cold for them, and so are cycling in the direction of Cyprus instead.

As for me? Avvai and Kyle spontaneoulsy reached out to say I’d be welcome at theirs for another winter in Vancouver. Paul asked if I’d be back in the UK at all so we could collaborate on the book. Jonny is beginning his dissertation focusing on male cultural/sexual shame and I’d be very interested to be proximate to him so as to continue those conversations that we began in Armenia. And of course, I could chase down Helen and Irfaan in Cyprus.

It’s wonderful to have so many great options, but it does make deciding difficult.