Dr. Strauss is a psychiatrist and a neurosurgeon. I didn’t know that. I thought he was just a plain doctor. But when I went to his office this morning, he told me about how important it is for me to learn about myself so that I can understand my problems. I said I didn’t have any problems.

He laughed and then he got up from his chair and went to the window. “The more intelligent you become the more problems you’ll have, Charlie. Your intellectual growth is going to outstrip your emotional growth. And I think you’ll find that as you progress, there will be many things you’ll want to talk to me about. I just want you to remember that this is the place for you to come when you need help.” I still don’t know what it’s all about, but he said even if I don’t understand my dreams or memories or why I have them, some time in the future they’re all going to connect up, and I’ll learn more about myself. He said the important thing is to find out what those people in my memories are saying. It’s all about me when I was a boy and I’ve got to remember what happened.

I never knew about these things before. It’s like if I get intelligent enough I’ll understand all the words in my mind, and I’ll know about those boys standing in the hallway, and about my Uncle Herman and my parents. But what he means is then I’m going to feel bad about it all and I might get sick in my mind.