The ability I have, that we all have, to affect people with words scares me sometimes.

A long time ago, in my teens, I remember being asked about my ‘type’ by a girl in our friend group. What kind of women was I attracted to? I was a bit thrown off because I hadn’t really thought about it much, so I just said something like “I like dark hair, not really into blonde” and didn’t think anything of it.

The next time I saw that group of friends, one of them had died their hair dark, she was naturally blonde. Even then I didn’t really put it together. It wasn’t until much later that I found out she was attracted to me and connected the two things.

On the one hand, of course we can change the way we look in order to try and attract those who attract us, it might not be a universally bad thing… but that experience haunts me still and, for better or for worse, I try to be more cautious about revealing things like that, for fear that it might catch someone where they’re vulnerable.